Relationships are an integral part of our life and the bonding we share with our friends is special in its own way. But sometimes it happens that our beautiful relationship with our friends dies out. The same relationship that once we cherished the most, suddenly ends. So why does it happen and why do we fall apart from our friends over a period of time? There is no obvious answer to this as every friendship is different and the persons involved are unique individuals. But there are some common factors that come in the way and obstruct us from maintaining friendship. Our insecurities, misunderstandings, envy, jealousy, assumptions, possessiveness and expectations lead to negativity in friendship.
So here are a few tips that definitely help to maintain lifelong friendship and keep away the negativity:
Do not Compare
It often happens that when you start comparing your life with your friends, you start questioning your own worth in life. Comparing your life with your friends and seeing the material aspects like physical attractiveness, career, success, relationship updates on social sites and so on, makes you fall in the trap of envy and jealousy that only ruins your relationship with your friends. Even if you have the art of hiding your true emotions, even then the vibes or energy you exchange with your friends can drift you apart at an emotional level.
So stop comparing if you really want to keep your friendship alive.
Do not Compete
If you look around you will see everyone is trying to compete with others in order to excel. The very important thing to understand is that life is not a competition. And if you start competing with your friends that will only ruin your relationship with them.
Count your own Strengths and Blessings
Comparison and competition with your own friends can hurt their feelings. Do not focus on what they possess and have in life. Rather, focus on what you have in your life and how you can make the most out of it. If you consciously think about your own strengths and blessings, it makes you feel happy and contented with whatever you have in life. If you see and observe some qualities in your friends, do not feel inferior, rather try to get inspired by their qualities and inculcate those in your behaviour and actions.
Work on your Weaknesses
If you think that there are some weaknesses that make it difficult for you to enjoy your life then you must start working on the weak points of your life. Take one step at a time to overcome.
Set your Goals
Have some dreams, passions and goals in life. And focus your energy on fulfilling those. Set some goals for yourself and that will give a unique purpose and meaning to your life. It keeps you engaged in some constructive way and you will not likely to feel jealous or envious of others.
Acknowledge your Feelings and Accept them
To feel envious and jealous of your friends is not something that you wish for. But sometimes, it becomes almost impossible to get rid of the emotions of envy and jealousy. So what is the right thing to do? Accept and acknowledge your feelings and emotions and try to think deeply and find out the reason for it. You will realize that this comes from your own insecurities and failures in life. We all tend to feel this way, especially when we are going through a rough patch or facing constant failures in life for any reason. So once you acknowledge and accept your state of mind and the reason for it, try to work on your own failures and take a step to change the things in your life that actually makes you feel that way.
Do not Expect too much
No matter how much we say that there should be no expectations, but it is very natural to expect in relationships. In every relationship we expect things from the other person, but we should always keep in mind that everybody has some limitations. So many expectations always lead to frustration and disappointment. Give your friends personal space and always nurture this relationship with care, concern and understanding.
There is nothing wrong to expect from friends, but there should be no bondage.
Sometimes it happens that friends are not able to fulfill your expectations. So be considerate and be forgiving.
No Room for Misunderstandings
Sometimes it happens that the best of friends fall apart only due to misunderstandings. So if you feel that your friend is not behaving the way she used to be or if you see a pattern of indifferent behaviour, it is always better to ask what is wrong with the person. Do not let the misunderstanding, grow between you and your friend. May be your friend’s behaviour has nothing to do with you as she might be going through some rough patch in life.
So before breaking your ties or drifting away from your friend, give her a chance to explain. May be you are unaware of the support that she needs to tread through the difficult times in her life.
To maintain friendship it is always good to take initiatives. Do not wait for your friend to call you or ask you to meet. If your friend truly matters to you then there is nothing wrong to be first to call or ask to meet. Do not feel bad about it if you are the only one who always takes the first step, this habit will never let your friends go away from you.
Be Supportive and be a Good Listener
Always be supportive to your friends and be a good listener. Friends matter a lot in life and this relationship will be maintained for a lifetime when you are supportive and listen to your friends when they need you the most.
In every relationship, be it with your friends, parents, children or spouse, there are few common things that are essential to maintain the relationship, i.e. respect, understanding, trust and care. If any of this is missing, then there is always a chance that over a period of time people sharing the relationship will drift apart from each other. To maintain a relationship you should always put conscious efforts from time to time.
Nurture your Friendships and Stay Happy!