25-year-old Nikita quit a promising career in advertising as she was getting married. She thought that she does not need a job as her hubby earns well and the future family does not want a working daughter-in-law. However after a year of marriage, Nikita got frustrated because of the monotony in her life and faced an identity crisis which stemmed from the fact that post-marriage she was just known as someone’s wife or someone’s DIL. So before you make the decision of quitting your job or giving up a dream because you are getting married, you should know why it is important to work post marriage:
1. You get an Identity
No matter what job you do, you are identified by something other than your relationships. So besides being a wife and a daughter-in-law you may also be a teacher, doctor, writer, architect etc.
Your job gives you a chance to be much more than your relationships at home. It enables you to discover your potential and to hone your skills and utilize them effectively.
Besides, you get to face new challenges every day, away from the monotony of home.
2. Helps in Managing your Time Better
When you work, you have specific timings and so you make an effort to manage your time accordingly. You bathe on time, finish off chores and sleep early, because job brings about a discipline in your life. Besides, if you truly want to enjoy something you should experience the lack of it. A person, who is busy with office and stays home during a holiday, loves to be at home. The joy of getting a weekend off is something you do not experience when you are at home, as for you every day is a holiday.
3. Financial Freedom
Being able to buy something from your hard earned money gives immense satisfaction and happiness. You may have parents, hubby, in-laws who may be glad to provide for you, but at the end of the day, your salary is your own and gives you a feeling of self dependency.
A woman who earns, saves and invests is a woman who is confident and assured. When you contribute to the family income, you also challenge the traditional roles of men being providers and women being care givers. A woman, who challenges the status quo, without accepting it blindly, knows how to empower herself.
In many families, husbands and in-laws discourage a woman to work outside home, saying that they don’t require her money and that they can provide for her. Families who don’t want a working daughter-in-law are defining her role as that of a caregiver whose primary concern should be home management and so you are confined into the home, with not many opportunities, even if you don’t like it. In such families, you are not seen as an individual with dreams and ambitions but rather you are seen as someone who gives care and manages the household.
It is important for you to know that even if you earn a few thousands you can spend it the way you want, without you being accountable to anyone. You can buy the things that you have been postponing because you may not be willing to ask your hubby to buy it for you. Besides, a few thousands saved over a period of time, become lakhs, so never underestimate the value of money that you earn.
4. Social Interaction
If you are at home after marriage you do not get to interact with people, other than your family, on a day-to-day basis. At times you get so engrossed in the household, that your social life takes a back seat and you may feel alienated. On the contrary, if you have a job, you meet friends and colleagues daily. When you meet people on a daily basis you may get fresh perspectives on the problems that you are facing. More people become a part of your life and your social circle gets widened. Moreover, when you share your problems with friends, you realize that they may be sailing in the same boat, as everyone has their share of troubles in life.
5. You are not Available all time
When you are at home all the time, your life revolves around your hubby, kids and in-laws, as their schedules take precedence. It is important to be there for your family but it is also important to prioritize your dreams, wishes and desires. Over a period of time, you may get frustrated, because everyone has their schedule except you.
Moreover, certain annoying neighbors or relatives may drop by anytime they want because you are at home and so are considered to be always available. Sheetal a 26-year-old homemaker shares, “I was at home for sometime after marriage and was looking for jobs. There is an old aunty residing in the flat opposite to ours who was very friendly. She used to drop by frequently and sit for hours, assuming that I am free but I had chores to do and also wanted to rest in the afternoon, when she used to ring the bell continuously and it was very annoying.” When you are at home, people assume that you are free to attend to anyone, in person or over the phone. The problem is that you may not want to attend to certain people, but being at home, it may become a compulsion unless you are pretty vocal and tell people that you have tasks to attend to and are not available at their beck and call.
6. Applauds, Appreciation and Promotions
Nothing can replace the applause that you get after clinching a deal for your team or the promotions at job. The gratification that you feel is unprecedented.
With due respect to homemakers who spend their life tendering, taking care of the family and multi-tasking different chores, staying at home is a tough job. Being a homemaker, you work all 7 days but it is a fact that home-making is the most underrated task for women as the hard work that you put in may often go unnoticed. Over a period of time, the tasks that you do may be taken as your duty and responsibility, being a housewife, which further adds to your troubles.
So it is important for you to work post marriage. If you are not a 9 to 5 person or you have kids to take care of, do something that requires less hours. If money is not a motivation for you, then join an NGO or do volunteer work so that you make a difference in people’s lives. Start a business and become an entrepreneur, but keep your passion alive and live up your dreams and stay happy!